by Angelica Dela Cruz
After unexpectedly learning that her 61-year-old mother tested positive for COVID-19 last month, Rae Villena, a Special Needs Education sophomore at the University of Santo Tomas (UST), was left to re-evaluate her priorities in the face of a global health crisis. As she struggled to look after her family’s well-being while studying for her exams, Villena found herself in a state of grief and confusion which put a toll on her mental health.
As the Philippines broke the 1 million mark of recorded COVID-19 cases, the number of COVID-related deaths also rose to over 20,000. With this increase comes the emergence of a prolonged and dysfunctional form of grieving brought by lack of close contact with a departed loved one. Researchers labelled this condition “pandemic grief”.
The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recognizes that grief experienced during the COVID-19 pandemic may also be brought by losses in livelihood, disruption of daily routines, lack of personal contact with support systems and lack of traditional celebrations, among others.
For students like Villena who have loved ones getting diagnosed with or completely losing their lives to COVID-19, it has become even more challenging to cope with the already overwhelming stress and anxiety brought by online remote learning.
Pandemic grief is also brought by a loss of routine
“I find myself operating now with no established routine. I barely have the drive to study or do anything productive, and I can’t even maintain the study habits I had before quarantine,” says Villena, reflecting on her loss of motivation over a year into distance learning.
“If I used to review for a quiz or do my assignment at least a day before the deadline, now there are a lot of instances when I just do it on the same day of submission, thinking that if the submission’s up until 11:59 pm, I can manage,” she added.
Her mother’s swab test result came back as positive in late April this year, which was also the same time as her college department’s preliminary examinations, one of the busiest weeks of the semester in their university.
Villena recalled that it was a difficult time not only because she and her family had to adjust their schedules and routines to avoid close contact with her mother, but also since she was constantly anxious over her mother’s diagnosis, making it hard to focus on reviewing lessons for her quizzes and exams.
“There was also this looming fear that my mom’s condition might get worse, or that we might also get infected. I was mostly scared for my dad since he also has his own medical issues, and my lola (grandmother) who’s already 85,” she added.
This period led Villena to realize that she should shift her priorities from studying to taking care of her family’s health and well-being. She also wants to focus on rebuilding the routines she lost amid this online learning setup.
‘Flexible’ learning as the norm
Last May 21, the Commission on Higher Education (CHED) chairperson, Prospero de Vera III, said in a webinar that universities and colleges would have to adopt a “flexible learning” system for the years to come.
The announcement was met with countless critical social media posts from students, teachers and activist groups. They expressed their disappointment and anger over the lack of concrete solutions from the government to lessen the burden of online learning for students and teachers, especially those who are not as privileged as others.
The hashtags #LigtasNaBalikEskwela and #AcademicEaseNow continue to trend on Twitter till today as thousands of online users call for a reform in CHED’s policy. Many share the sentiment that this policy is both anti-poor and indifferent to the struggles of students and professors.
One of these is Felle Sibayan, a second-year Early Childhood Education major also from UST. Despite having the resources for online learning – a stable internet connection and working gadgets – she still struggles to keep up with the requirements in all of her subjects because for her, “the hardest part of studying online in the middle of a pandemic is the unconducive home environment.”
“There are a lot of times that I get distracted by what is happening both at home and in the news, which makes it almost impossible to focus on my classes.” Sibayan added.
Although her main priority is to finish her studies as soon as possible, Sibayan still hopes to return to traditional face-to-face classes before she graduates. She agrees that the safe resumption of classes is the most beneficial option for students, particularly those who have a hard time coping with the COVID-19 pandemic financially, physically, and mentally.
Coping with stress and anxiety
CDC listed a few coping methods that might help manage feelings of loss or grief, including ways to channel one’s grief through creative means, creating new routines with loved ones at home or online, and developing a mindset focused on the present and on what can be controlled.
Both Villena and Sibayan, who have also been friends since senior high school, find it effective to constantly message each other, along with their other friends, about their personal and academic lives as a way of relieving tension. They rant, joke, and talk about what bothers them almost every day.
“To an extent, I feel grateful that I get to communicate with my friends. It kind of motivates me knowing that I’m not alone in my battles – that if they’re willing to fight until the end, maybe I also have the power to do so.” Villena shared.
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